Monday, September 22nd, 2008
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9:54 pm - not right
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i just want to drink myself into a coma. there is not a single thing that could make me happy. friends,money, sucess. nothing
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Thursday, August 28th, 2008
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11:49 am - winded
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everything is changing. constantly i feel like the second i think theres a calm things fire up again. i've been thinking about you alot latley. i don't know why. i mostly choose not too. probably because you are an asshole. and assholes leave lasting impressions. i just wish my mom would be better so i can be done with all of this. it's annoying. i just wish i had someone to lean on. that someone should just be me.
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Tuesday, August 26th, 2008
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12:41 am - just wondering
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seriously can i be anymore pathetic? people are such bullshit. everywhere i look. bullshit bullshit bullshit. is there any morals anymore?
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Monday, March 3rd, 2008
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1:06 am - looks like.
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blah. i'm gonna be up all night.
current mood:  cold
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Wednesday, September 19th, 2007
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11:23 pm - serenity now.
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wow i feel like i'm gonna throw up ... my head is spinning with thoughts... funny. i only write in this thing when i'm depressed. i'm not really a sad person... i'm only sad when i think way too hard about my future. or about bad things from my past. you know it's like you keep on trying to shove them back there. but somehow they get up and say.. "hey you? rememeber me... let's hang!" yeah i don't want to fucking hang with my bad thoughts or memories.i try to work every single day to be positive and make the most out of what i have ( ok maybe not that hard) i could work harder. but how do you know that what you have couldn't be better.. i don't know. i have dreams of one day being a huge sucess and being surrounded by my every achievement.. but even then what will it be like. i dunno. i'm tired rite now. but not that tired. hate that.
current mood:  confused
current music: crickets
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Tuesday, June 19th, 2007
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12:01 pm - i'm so confused.
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i feel like im losing my mind a little today. i dunno just sometimes you see your life in a different light on certain days. today is just not my light. i don't know what i feel for who or what and my mind is playing games.
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Thursday, May 31st, 2007
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12:14 pm - man
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dude i just want to escape. quit my job move start the fuck over. problem with that you can never escape you just start more problems. i hate working in 90 degree heat. though i suppose it's better than 25 degrees
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Monday, February 12th, 2007
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7:13 pm - sometimes it feels like the walls are closing in on me
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i was in old navy today and out of no where i totally felt sick .. my eyes got all watery and my thorat tightened up. it prolly cause my birthday is in 2 days. i'm usually sick for holidays and bdays. but it's kool i took an airborne. i can't believe i'm going to be 22 already. it seems like yesterday i was 18. crazy. i've been thinking about my friends latley all the people i used to be really close with. i miss you guys i really do. it seems like for all my life i had that best friend to hold on to for a year or 2. and then they just fade away. litterally. but o well such is life i suppose. hopefully valentines day is ok this year. i know i'm buying myself a heart shaped pizza for sure.
current mood: crummy
current music: 311
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Friday, January 12th, 2007
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11:01 pm - what the fuck eh?
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man everything sucks lately...well my job has been steady so that s good but it seems like anytime i get say? 500 bucks ahead? it's swiped out from under me... do i buy clothes? shoes? no nothing. bills and i don't even have my own place!!!i swear. i don't know how anyone stays up these days. my friends are gone. or at least it feels like it. and my dreams are cloudy, of course i know what i want but the path is so confusing. i spend everyday with my boyfriend. but his friends are around every corner calling every second. he hangs out with them whenever i work late and whenever i just cant be there and then when i get time they still win. tonite i wanted to hang and he kept coming up with excuses about how he needed to be with just them , it's gotten to the point where i know he keeps a set of friends away from me prolly just to talk shit and get it all out. cause if we happen to go somewhere for a while i don't want to be he gets mad cause i say i'd rather leave. i suppose i just better get into a groove for me and be with people i used to but who? everyone i used to know has stuff going on i don't know about it's just not the same. or maybe i'm too self concious? i don't know what i am. ahh fuck too much thinking time to have a drinkee
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Sunday, November 12th, 2006
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6:28 pm
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dude this journal sucks. i still have it.. it's funny. i just read an entry from my junoir year in high school. haha great.
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Saturday, September 30th, 2006
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1:25 pm
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STOP fighting START listening. and quit fucking things up ... so fucking lame
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Sunday, September 24th, 2006
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5:04 pm - tired and worn
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wow so today was rough. new jobs often are. at least now i will make more money, same bullshit people though. oh well. <3
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Wednesday, August 30th, 2006
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7:12 pm - sometimes it's just how you feel
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Friday, August 18th, 2006
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11:04 am
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wow i have not written in this thing for like 4 or 5 months. prolly cause my life is boring I WANT SPICE. something.. movin to a new salon for real excited. i have the WHOLE WEEK OFF. i refuse to do hair for free. i'm sick of moochers. been working out. that's working good. just tryin not to sprain anything. holla
current music: non a that
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Thursday, June 15th, 2006
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10:52 pm
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Monday, June 5th, 2006
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10:22 pm
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wow. if like one good thing would happen to me that would be greeeat. i try to say what i feel and it doesn't come out right i guess. but who are you if you don't believe in your self. you're nothing. my WHOLE life i've always been doing shit to make other people happy.. who the fuck wants other people happy. .. why why the Fuck should i care about other people. i see a girl be this GIANT stupid ass all the time... and i hate her. to her face i'm still nice i still care what people say about her.. i don't say anything bad. MONICA just walk up to the girl and tell her she's a fucking twit. maybe after that things can change.. maybe after you ACTUALLY say what you think when you think it and not try to filter it pretty. you might not be a shithead. guess what if you don't care and you're done trying SO THE FUCK AM I.....ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhrgrgrgrgrgrg
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Saturday, June 3rd, 2006
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8:17 pm
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lets start lets start gogogogogo!
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Wednesday, May 31st, 2006
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2:20 pm
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got myself a celley phoneo- 843-7843.
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Monday, May 29th, 2006
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2:42 pm
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so is it weird that in a bathroom full of muslim women at stoney creek... i feel odd in a bikini? just myself .. i did a little.... so burnt it hurts
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Monday, May 1st, 2006
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3:28 pm
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moniferous's journal