poor little baby likes to cry

not right

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 01:55:58 GMT

i just want to drink myself into a coma. there is not a single thing that could make me happy. friends,money, sucess. nothing

winded

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 15:53:03 GMT

everything is changing. constantly i feel like the second i think theres a calm things fire up again. i've been thinking about you alot latley. i don't know why. i mostly choose not too. probably because you are an asshole. and assholes leave lasting impressions. i just wish my mom would be better so i can be done with all of this. it's annoying. i just wish i had someone to lean on. that someone should just be me.

just wondering

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 04:42:54 GMT

seriously can i be anymore pathetic? people are such bullshit. everywhere i look. bullshit bullshit bullshit. is there any morals anymore?

looks like.

Mon, 03 Mar 2008 06:06:53 GMT

blah. i'm gonna be up all night.

serenity now.

Thu, 20 Sep 2007 03:29:59 GMT

wow i feel like i'm gonna throw up ... my head is spinning with thoughts... funny. i only write in this thing when i'm depressed. i'm not really a sad person... i'm only sad when i think way too hard about my future. or about bad things from my past. you know it's like you keep on trying to shove them back there. but somehow they get up and say.. "hey you? rememeber me... let's hang!" yeah i don't want to fucking hang with my bad thoughts or memories.i try to work every single day to be positive and make the most out of what i have ( ok maybe not that hard) i could work harder. but how do you know that what you have couldn't be better.. i don't know. i have dreams of one day being a huge sucess and being surrounded by my every achievement.. but even then what will it be like. i dunno. i'm tired rite now. but not that tired. hate that.

i'm so confused.

Tue, 19 Jun 2007 16:03:17 GMT

i feel like im losing my mind a little today. i dunno just sometimes you see your life in a different light on certain days. today is just not my light. i don't know what i feel for who or what and my mind is playing games.

man

Thu, 31 May 2007 16:15:40 GMT

dude i just want to escape. quit my job move start the fuck over. problem with that you can never escape you just start more problems. i hate working in 90 degree heat. though i suppose it's better than 25 degrees

sometimes it feels like the walls are closing in on me

Tue, 13 Feb 2007 00:17:41 GMT

i was in old navy today and out of no where i totally felt sick .. my eyes got all watery and my thorat tightened up. it prolly cause my birthday is in 2 days. i'm usually sick for holidays and bdays. but it's kool i took an airborne. i can't believe i'm going to be 22 already. it seems like yesterday i was 18. crazy. i've been thinking about my friends latley all the people i used to be really close with. i miss you guys i really do. it seems like for all my life i had that best friend to hold on to for a year or 2. and then they just fade away. litterally. but o well such is life i suppose. hopefully valentines day is ok this year. i know i'm buying myself a heart shaped pizza for sure.

what the fuck eh?

Sat, 13 Jan 2007 04:12:54 GMT

man everything sucks lately...well my job has been steady so that s good but it seems like anytime i get say? 500 bucks ahead? it's swiped out from under me... do i buy clothes? shoes? no nothing. bills and i don't even have my own place!!!i swear. i don't know how anyone stays up these days. my friends are gone. or at least it feels like it. and my dreams are cloudy, of course i know what i want but the path is so confusing. i spend everyday with my boyfriend. but his friends are around every corner calling every second. he hangs out with them whenever i work late and whenever i just cant be there and then when i get time they still win. tonite i wanted to hang and he kept coming up with excuses about how he needed to be with just them , it's gotten to the point where i know he keeps a set of friends away from me prolly just to talk shit and get it all out. cause if we happen to go somewhere for a while i don't want to be he gets mad cause i say i'd rather leave. i suppose i just better get into a groove for me and be with people i used to but who? everyone i used to know has stuff going on i don't know about it's just not the same. or maybe i'm too self concious? i don't know what i am. ahh fuck too much thinking time to have a drinkee

Sun, 12 Nov 2006 22:28:21 GMT

dude this journal sucks. i still have it.. it's funny. i just read an entry from my junoir year in high school. haha great.

Sat, 30 Sep 2006 17:25:58 GMT

STOP fighting START listening. and quit fucking things up ... so fucking lame

tired and worn

Sun, 24 Sep 2006 21:03:55 GMT

wow so today was rough. new jobs often are. at least now i will make more money, same bullshit people though. oh well. <3

sometimes it's just how you feel

Wed, 30 Aug 2006 23:13:03 GMT

i want a new face.

Fri, 18 Aug 2006 15:07:08 GMT

wow i have not written in this thing for like 4 or 5 months. prolly cause my life is boring I WANT SPICE. something.. movin to a new salon for real excited. i have the WHOLE WEEK OFF. i refuse to do hair for free. i'm sick of moochers. been working out. that's working good. just tryin not to sprain anything. holla

Fri, 16 Jun 2006 02:52:23 GMT

i'm very unhappy

Tue, 06 Jun 2006 02:28:07 GMT

wow. if like one good thing would happen to me that would be greeeat. i try to say what i feel and it doesn't come out right i guess. but who are you if you don't believe in your self. you're nothing. my WHOLE life i've always been doing shit to make other people happy.. who the fuck wants other people happy. .. why why the Fuck should i care about other people. i see a girl be this GIANT stupid ass all the time... and i hate her. to her face i'm still nice i still care what people say about her.. i don't say anything bad. MONICA just walk up to the girl and tell her she's a fucking twit. maybe after that things can change.. maybe after you ACTUALLY say what you think when you think it and not try to filter it pretty. you might not be a shithead. guess what if you don't care and you're done trying SO THE FUCK AM I.....ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhrgrgrgrgrgrg

Sun, 04 Jun 2006 00:18:10 GMT

lets start lets start gogogogogo!

Wed, 31 May 2006 18:20:53 GMT

got myself a celley phoneo- 843-7843.

Mon, 29 May 2006 18:43:13 GMT

so is it weird that in a bathroom full of muslim women at stoney creek... i feel odd in a bikini? just myself .. i did a little.... so burnt it hurts

Mon, 01 May 2006 19:29:11 GMT

woah. i'm REALLY stupid

Sat, 22 Apr 2006 21:49:39 GMT

i had the greatest day.. it was fun and i'm in a great mood. it's eeeerrie outside my house though. dark and rummbling clouds. my cats hate thunder.

Mon, 17 Apr 2006 19:33:30 GMT

today is so nice! so was easter... hahah
gina's reinactment of the simple life
nichole richie: how old are you?
girl: i'm 18
nichole richie: do you LOVE it?
hahaha i wish i was so rich i could fill my head with air. that's great.... so when some one asks - monica do you like your pasta? i can say. " it's sexy."

Sat, 01 Apr 2006 01:06:58 GMT

so FUCKING pissed just realized my moon roof was open.... it's pouring outside

Fri, 24 Mar 2006 23:23:54 GMT

aggrivation eats at my soul.

Mon, 20 Mar 2006 16:41:46 GMT

i am in a greeeat mood today.... i really think my moods have alot to do with my dreams...it's strange. but happy happy i am